Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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