Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize