I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
