9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
