She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
