Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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