I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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