Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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