We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
