I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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