Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I would fuck him just for his dog
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
