i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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