Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My feet surprised me
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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