Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize