BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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