cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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