I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
