hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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