do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
