There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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