I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
