I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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