We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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