Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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