Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize