I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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