GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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