Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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