He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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