Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
