cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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