Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
