well you can't waste a boner
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
