I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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