I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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