fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
