it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
