My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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