im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
