Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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