sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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