Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
