Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
