video games are the ultimate cock blocker
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
