..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
