He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
thus making me awesome and them whores
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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