I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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