i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
