i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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