he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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