I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
