Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
