my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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