You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
