Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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