I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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