If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
