If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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