He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
